July 6, 2009
maybe the only word that fits the way i feel is “bitter sweet” i want to go home at last, my home in boston. but it was great seeing my parents and spending lots and lots of time with my brother. we contemplated about going on a short trip to India but didn’t act on it so our inaction decided for us. 
it’s been difficult to communicate with my bf, obviously. when you’re single and wondering who likes you or who doesn’t like you and who you like and who you don’t like, the name of the game is certainty, right? you think someone is or might be interested. ooooh how life would be so easy if he/she would just come right out and say so?
my bf and i started dating each other exclusive fairly early from when we met. became bg & gf officially near the end of the first month of dating. what i want to say is that even though we have this official status as bf and gf, if we don’t get to talk for a while i still need way of communicating that he still loves me. it’s quite different, isn’t it? knowing someone loves you vs hearing them say ILY or having them do things that shout out i love you!
i think i definitely respond more with verbal affirmations. it’s just the kind of person i am. love hugs and kisses, and everything else, but would like to hear other person say or do things that speak ILY to me clearly and loudly! boy, i wish my bf were reading my blogs, but i don’t think he is. hehe
Posted in family, relationship, seoul | Leave a Comment »
Tags: bittersweet, boyfriend, girlfriend, going home, requited love, unrequited love
July 5, 2009
so my german son and i went to coex, located in kangnam of seoul. first of regular topics were very limited in selection. i almost never get cereal on top of my frozen yogurt. but at that time and place, corn flakes seemed like the best topping to put on my red mango frozen ice cream.
we asked if they had mochi as a topping. the worker gave us deer caught in the headlight look and said, do you have that as a topping where you come from? we don’t have mochi as a topping. not all stores are the same across countries.
so after some mix up, we finally communicate to the worker that my son wants a green tea bingso. when it came out, it looked pretty.
and so anyway: as for the taste – the worst green tea bingsoo we ever had! green tea powder didn’t mix well with the ice and we just left the barely eaten bingsoo on the counter hoping that they would notice we did not like it too much. 
Posted in frozen yogurt, personal, seoul | Leave a Comment »
Tags: coex, green tea bingsoo, mocchi, red mango, toppings
July 5, 2009
even when things are going well, it’s possible to feel like nothing is going well. and i know that it’s all a matter of perspective. well, i’m having problems with the perspective thing. i’m feeling sad, inadequate, and lots of guilt. sure enough i have a medical condition, i need help of others at times to stay safe. but i don’t want to be like this. i hate that i need others to babysit me. i hate that people worry about me and need to check up on me. i hate that my doctor can’t trust me with a newly filled bottle of prescription medicine. i hate that i need group therapy as well as individual therapy. most of all i hate the fact that i still am not able to contract for safety 24/7. because, on days like this when i feel extremely sad, probably over nothing warranting this kind of sadness, i just want to escape. i’m over the i want to end my life phase. but still there are days i just want to check out temporarily even if i no longer want a permanent escape. so i’m contemplating a little escape for myself right here right now to extend the night into the day, for as long as i can to stay in deep sleep without interruption of being woken up in the morning.
Posted in depression, family, personal, relationship | Leave a Comment »
Tags: depression, guilt, overdose, sadness, temporary escape
June 25, 2009
so so happy about thetering on my new iPhone 3G S!!! i can even talk on the phone while connected to the Internet by tethering with my i Phone via bluetooth (can also use USB port). what else can i say? love it love it love it! love apple! love ATT! can you tell, tethering and upgraded seat (see previous post) just totally put me in the bestest mood as i start off my trip to korea???
Posted in apple, personal, seoul | Leave a Comment »
Tags: bluetooth, internet, iPhone, jailbreaking, tethering
June 25, 2009
i am sitting in the business class lounge of korean air because i got upgraded for free! yeah. sometimesi airline overbooking works to your advantage. hehe so free food, easy free Internet connection, and quiet seat until departure. then hopefully AC connection on the plane and roomy seat and better service all around! can’t believe how much more i am looking forward to the entire trip to korea to visit my parents since i found out about my upgraded! hehe i know. pretty shallow, don’t you think? but hey, comfort first before anything else when you might sleep for a long long time and then some more until your each your destination to a country over the pacific ocean!!!
Posted in family, seoul | Leave a Comment »
Tags: business class, kroean air, seoul, upgrade
