snow here
27 Mar 2008 Leave a Comment
it started snowing this morning and it’s still snowing! what’s going on with the weather here in chicago??? i meant to go to starbucks early this morning to study. instead i played with my niece all by myself until others woke up. 
i loved every moment of it. and so now i am playing catch up.
i’m hoping to finish the book by today that i have to present so that i can write the presentation tomorrow morning. then tomorrow afternoon we can go to the aquarium. why? because my niece wants to. hehe. i sure am glad i decided rather impulsively to fly here to visit my niece (and my sister and my brother in law and my niece’s grandparents).
day by day
25 Mar 2008 1 Comment
in personal Tags: wellbutrin
it’s amazing how living day by day can get you so far. i somehow made it through the nyc trip two weekends ago. i somehow made it through easter sunday – making tons of sandwiches for refreshements and all. i made it through another class this morning despite the difficulty i have been having with understanding the readings. wow. wow. wow.
i’m looking forward to seeing my niece tomorrow! i have a presentation next tuesday morning so yes, i decided to go visit my niece. makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? i’m leaving tomorrow morning and coming back monday night. i’m sure i won’t be stressed and i will get all the work done early. NOT! hehe seriously, maybe i will get things done. maybe. just maybe.
i started taking wellbutrin last saturday. it’s at such a low dosage right now. so i can’t really tell if it’s helping. my psychiatrist is super conservative and careful. recommended starting dose is like 150 mg. i’m on 37.5 mg. i mean, is it doing anything at all at such a low dose like that? i hope i lose my appetite and lose a lot of weight! i’m only half joking about that.
understanding at last
20 Mar 2008 Leave a Comment
in depression, personal, theology Tags: wellbutrin
after a few weeks of no understanding whatsoever of what i had to read for class, last night i read 40 pages and understood what i was reading!!! praise God! i was so relieved that my brain hadn’t gone mad.
class was amazing on tuesday. i didn’t understand what i read of course. so i had tons and tons of questions. the professor was really patient and our discussion helped me to understand the theology infinitely more than i could have hoped for. i was starting to think that i couldn’t do theology anymore and that maybe i had lost all interest in it. i was happily proven wrong. i still understand theology, can follow discussion and am capable of making contributions!
my psychiatrist is prescribing me wellbutrin tomorrow. i was feeling so badly last friday that i could hardly speak when i saw her. i felt like i was an empty box and couldn’t move my body. weird, huh? i’m looking forward to starting on wellbutrin. we tried it about 6 years ago for a few days but had to stop because i wasn’t eating. since then i’ve gained about 60 pounds so who cares if i stop eating? i could use the weight loss. hehe
feelings
11 Mar 2008 Leave a Comment
in depression, personal
i feel crappy crappy crappy. i don’t want to do anything, not even to sleep. i tried to read today and couldn’t understand what i was reading. i don’t know what to do with my life. i guess i’m depressed in a big way.
target behavior
06 Mar 2008 1 Comment
in depression, personal Tags: depression, sleep, target behavior
one of my “target behavior” (an action i’m trying to change) is over sleeping. and today i target engaged. i stayed in all day long, well except to go exercise with my sister. i usually sleep or stay in bed when i don’t feel good. and today i wasn’t feeling good so i chose to stay in bed all day long. i’m going back to bed until the ice hockey game! i hope i’ll feel okay tomorrow. one bad day i can deal with. two bad days, i’m not sure i can handle!!!
