love of my life
19 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
in personal, relationship Tags: boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, love of my life
i nearly broke into tears last night while my bf was talking about one of his ex-girlfriends who he refers to as the love of his life. it never used to bother me before that he talked about her or that he talked about her as the love of his life. i know he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, and that it has been a while since the break-up and all. i got pangs of pain in my heart though while he talked about her last night. i wondered would he ever talk about me the way he talks about her? and not because i’m being all insecure about myself, but based on the way he talks about her and the way he interacts with me, i just don’t think i would ever be the love of his life. i don’t think he would ever say so, at least not right now even if he knew it himself. so only time will tell (me) whether he would or could ever be in love with me the way he was in love with her. some times you just get a gut feeling about things, you know? and i got a feeling in my gut/heart that i would never be the love of his life the way she was to him. no wonder i wanted to cry. he’s the love of my life.
bad brazilian keratin hair treatment!
19 Sep 2009 1 Comment
in new york, style Tags: brazilian, brazilian keratin hair treatment, irritation, keratin, scalp
i can’t imagine it’s normal for the scalp to get irritated because of the brazilian keratin treatment? my scalp after the brazilian hair treatment is all bumpy, not the way your head gets bumpy after bumping into something, but the way it gets all swollen and scabby after wards. yuck, right? it’s a bit itchy too. yes, my hair looks fabulous. my scalp on the other hand has seen better days. totally had not anticipated my scalp being so badly damaged by the hair treatment. not normal, i would guess? cost of beauty in this case is way way too high!
brazilian keratin hair treatment
14 Sep 2009 1 Comment
in personal, style Tags: brazilian, carcinogen, formaldehyde, hair treatment, keratin
i got my hair cut last week and was talked into getting a brazilian keratin hair treatment. my hair no longer looks like wispy tree roots! it looks healthy and well hydrated.
today i met up with my old roommate. and told her about that i got the hair treatment. she told me there is formaldehyde in the mixture for that treatment! first i was like yuck because they use it to preserve dead things. then i came home and read an article about the hair treatment, learned that formaldehyde is a carcinogen! oh well. the price of beauty too high? i think so.
looking for DBT in nyc
09 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
in depression, new york Tags: boston, columbia, cornell, DBT, harvard, new york city, therapist, therapy
i started searching for a new DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) groups in the area. queens/long island groups were not working out, either full or don’t take insurance. so i started looking up groups in the city. it’s great that columbia and cornell have their medical schools here.
it’s strange. i would think there would be more availability of groups and therapists and all in the ny area than in boston area. after all, isn’t this woody allen’s city of many clients who want therapy and too few therapists?
surprisingly harvard has more affiliation with schools all around boston area more than columbia and cornell have in ny area it seems like. i didn’t know how good i had it when i was in the boston area. still, i am glad there’s at least columbia and cornell affliated hospitals and programs in reasonable closeness to where i live.
swine flu?
09 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
in personal Tags: bonjuk, cold, porridge, swine flu, symptoms
today is wednesday. i have been sick since sunday. i definitely have a cold or a flu of some kind. i looked up swine flu symptoms yesterday. and boy do the symptoms sound non specific or what? only thing i could tell is that if you have swine flu you have a high fever and cough a lot. don’t most flu or cold symptoms consist of the same?
i don’t think i’m dying or anything. i started out coughing a lot. i mean a lot. it would hurt so much to cough. then second day i was mostly just congested. really congested. then i started feeling really tired and weak. today, the fourth day of being sick, i noticed i have muscle aches like i worked out for hours or something.
anyway, i guess swine flu is so much a concern because some people die from it. but as for what makes it noticeably different from other kinds of flu or colds, i could not tell.
best part about being sick? my bf “brought” me porridge from bonjuk. well, he came over, picked me up and we went to go pick it up together. 
anyway, it was nice not being all by myself when i was feeling so sick.
