heart break
19 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in christianity, faith, god, new york, religion Tags: heart break, service, worship
yesterday towards end of the service, i nearly came to tears. during the service, some of the kids were really distracted. at one point, almost everyone got up to see what happened in the kitchen (service is in the cafeteria open to kitchen area) when we heard a popping noise. before saying a prayer at the end, i told them how service is for God and that all the interruptions and talking during the service is interruption and talking during worship of God. as i was saying this, i could feel tears welling up in my eyes and my voice choking up. it wasn’t so much i was hurt by how service went. but everything that happened points to how real God is in our lives. it’s fine to talk while i’m talking generally speaking, except when it’s during service and i’m in the middle of preaching a message i think would help all of us come closer to God! some of the kids said they were sorry. i said, don’t be sorry to me. i hope they realize it’s not really my heart they are breaking.
good thing
07 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in christianity, depression, faith, god, new york, personal, religion Tags: pain killer
on beautiful easter sunday evening, i got rear ended. car was damaged more than it appeared at first. no wonder my body is bent out of shape. presently prescribed three different kinds of pain relievers. good thing i am not wanting to end my life because i have access to stuff that could kill me. life is funny that way. when i was really depressed and didn’t want to live, i couldn’t get meds strong enough. at last i have plenty of meds that could kill me but now i no longer am interested in ending my life. good thing the car accident that caused bad back and neck pain happened now and not a year ago. if the accident had happened a year ago, i may have not been prescribed the medicine and have to live through the pain or would have abused pain medicine for purposes not intended by doctors who prescribed them to me. actually, i think my psychiatrist might be shocked at different kinds of pain relievers that have been prescribed and also that i have a lot of it in possession. my psychiatrist still gives me one week’s worth of anti-anxiety medicine at a time. kind of funny considering my pcp prescribes to me months worth of pain killers at once and some of them with refills! thank God i am not tempted by having all the medicine i have all at once.
new and old
28 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in christianity, faith, god, new york, religion Tags: church, EM, English Ministry, ministry
last sunday was the last service of our church…but this sunday we met at the church again for another last service. kind of funny, but i think it was good. so so happy that starting a new church is not rushed any more. i get to keep working with English ministry so for me it’s not new ministry. but the adults will start looking for a new pastor. i’m hoping for lots of prayer and all voices being heard this time! all things DO happen for the best!!!
“What Joy (Psalm 146)” lyrics and chord link
28 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in christianity, religion Tags: generation church, lyrics, psalm 146, what joy
i searched for a while to find this link. i figure others might want it too. lyrics and chords for “What Joy (Psalm 146).”
http://www.generationchurch.org/allthingsnew/What_Joy.pdf
what lies behind
21 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in christianity, faith, god, new york, religion Tags: drama, ministry
today was the day i had been told about few months ago when i was hired: last day of church on its 38th anniversary. service felt sad…lots of emotions from everyone, including the preacher who wiped her tears a couple times during the sermon. honestly, parts of the service reminded me of a funeral rather than a celebration of God’s blessings for the past 38 years. but then the birthday cake for the church after the service reminded me that even though today’s service marks an end of an era, it’s also opening up space for a new beginning.
personally, my day was filled with drama. i woke up being unsure about what i was going to do starting next week. then i felt sure the right thing to do was to take a break since i didn’t get a green light from God. but then later in the afternoon, i came to see that for me, it’s as much quitting current ministry i am involved in as it is not starting new ministry if i don’t show up next sunday.
all in all, for every day, esp every sunday since december 13th 2009, i am thankful for, because being part of the church that closed today changed my life.
