what in the world?
16 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in depression, health Tags: antidepressants, depression, hemoglobin A1c, pre-diabetes, wellbutrin
two days ago, i slept all day and had a headache. i thought i was just tired. then the next day, i felt weak, achy all over and at times felt dizzy when i got up. what in the world is going on? because i’m on psych-meds and also pre-diabetes meds, i can’t tell what medicine is causing what or if i’m sick! to make matters more annoying than anything else, this morning, the third day of being dragged down by physical ailments, my back started to hurt again.
my psychiatrist wanted me to decrease dose of wellbutrin (my primary antidepressant) to see decrease in dose of wellbutrin would make me less anxious. so i took smaller dose for couple days. then when i was in bed for the second day and feeling dizzy, i took the pill i skipped to make up the normal dose of wellbutrin just in case what i was experiencing was due to withdrawal symptoms of wellbutrin. i was getting nauseous too but the redsox game last night went on for over four hours and i kept myself distracted by watching the redsox lose a game they should have won!!!
so am i sick? am i taking too much pre-diabetic meds? my doctor seems to think lowering hemoglobin A1c will keep diabetes away. but i just read some blogs that stated that lowering hemoglobin A1c with medication might come at the cost of increased rate of death if tight control of hemoglobin A1c with medicine causes hypoglycemia while patient is driving or doing other kinds of activity where alertness is matter of life and death.
sigh. hello, i’m still in my thirties. just as i’m coming out of depression, did i really need to be dealt pre-diabetes!!! ok the lack of exercise and poor diet might have contributed and i would take full responsibility except when you’re depressed, you don’t really care what happens to your life, you know???
tricks
04 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in depression, health Tags: anxiety
my mind is playing tricks on me. just couple of days ago, i felt like everything was stabilized to some kind of normalcy. then the very next day and today i feel anxious. if i knew exactly what i was feeling anxiety about, i think i would feel better.
fortunately (?) i told my therapist today that i wasn’t getting much out of therapy and wanted to take a break. i guess i forgot how anxious i felt yesterday. i didn’t think i would continue to feel anxious…
i’m also avoiding certain things…i needed to go to physical therapy because my back still hurts from the car accident that happened a month go. i was headed towards the place, then i turned around and walked home. what was that all about? what is there to be afraid of at my doctor’s office? i have multiple physical ailments going on at this point. yuck. yuck.
diabetes
03 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in depression, health Tags: diabetes
my doctor told me at the beginning of this year that i’m pre-diabetic. i got scared. so i changed my eating habits. started exercising regularly. i was put on some medicine to regulate glucose level. but then couple weeks ago, i just got sick of watching what i eat all the time. so i started giving into cravings for pasta and sweet things. and now that i have another blood work coming up, i kind of wish that i hadn’t done that. i mean, i’m glad i ate all the food i wanted to eat for past couple weeks, which is still a lot more healthy than the way i used to eat. but i hope my glucose level didn’t increase too much. it sucks to have physical and mental conditions that require medical attention. all i got going for my self that i can say is normal is my spiritual well being!
what to do?
08 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in depression Tags: anti-anxiety, antidepressant, muscle relaxer
after the car accident on sunday evening, i have been experiencing pain in my back and shoulder/neck area. so doctor prescribed me some pain relievers. i’m pretty sure he has a list of all the other medicine i’m on. but at least four of the medicine i am taking interfere with each other: take-as-needed-pain reliever i was just prescribed, the muscle relaxer, anti-anxiety medicine that i take as needed, and antidepressant i’ve been taking for couple of years are listed as medicine not to mix. i’m hoping my doctor knows what he’s doing. i don’t want to be feeling pain so i don’t want to go without pain relievers. certainly don’t want to feel anxious and don’t want to be depressed.
hmmm…
good thing
07 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in christianity, depression, faith, god, new york, personal, religion Tags: pain killer
on beautiful easter sunday evening, i got rear ended. car was damaged more than it appeared at first. no wonder my body is bent out of shape. presently prescribed three different kinds of pain relievers. good thing i am not wanting to end my life because i have access to stuff that could kill me. life is funny that way. when i was really depressed and didn’t want to live, i couldn’t get meds strong enough. at last i have plenty of meds that could kill me but now i no longer am interested in ending my life. good thing the car accident that caused bad back and neck pain happened now and not a year ago. if the accident had happened a year ago, i may have not been prescribed the medicine and have to live through the pain or would have abused pain medicine for purposes not intended by doctors who prescribed them to me. actually, i think my psychiatrist might be shocked at different kinds of pain relievers that have been prescribed and also that i have a lot of it in possession. my psychiatrist still gives me one week’s worth of anti-anxiety medicine at a time. kind of funny considering my pcp prescribes to me months worth of pain killers at once and some of them with refills! thank God i am not tempted by having all the medicine i have all at once.
