http://bleuemoon.com i write about: despair, anxiety, frozen yogurt, red sox, philosophy, theology, family, religion, love, life in nyc as a bostonian! ;) Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:25:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ http://s2.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.png http://bleuemoon.com http://bleuemoon.com/2011/12/25/merry-christmas-the-year-all-my-wishes-came-true/ http://bleuemoon.com/2011/12/25/merry-christmas-the-year-all-my-wishes-came-true/#comments Sun, 25 Dec 2011 22:57:40 +0000 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.wordpress.com/?p=571 ]]> Merry Christmas, everyone! This was a great Christmas. One friend proposed to a girlfriend of eleven years and she said yes! Another friend gave birth to a beautiful girl! My boyfriend and I are together, again. We got to spend Christmas together. And I have a great roommate. I get to see my nieces and my two sisters in two days. I finished four units of CPE which means my badges in hospitals will now say chaplain instead of chaplain intern. I got great feedback on my final paper and terrific grade in the class I was taking. At this point in my life, for everything I could ask for, I got. So happy and feeling great! Thank you, God! Thank you, Jesus!

Filed under: christianity, faith, god, personal, relationship, religion Tagged: christmas, dreams, happiness, love, wishes ]]> http://bleuemoon.com/2011/12/25/merry-christmas-the-year-all-my-wishes-came-true/feed/ 1 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/21/huh/ http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/21/huh/#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 22:51:35 +0000 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/?p=569 ]]> i am rapidly declining…  i thought i was doing well.  but this weekend, i hit another bump.  now i’m not sure what’s good for me.  i guess i know what i need.  i mean, i was starting to think i needed my ex-boyfriend if i can’t make it through this break up.  but then i realized, man, if i can’t make it through this break-up, being with my ex-boyfriend isn’t going to be much help.  so with or without him, with or without being inebriated, i’m gonna have to make this work.  i’m it.  me plus God.  that’s all i got.

Filed under: christianity, faith, god, personal, relationship Tagged: broken heart, relationship ]]> http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/21/huh/feed/ 1 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/17/all-is-well/ http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/17/all-is-well/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:12:41 +0000 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/?p=567 ]]> All is well with my soul.  I didn’t think time healed.  But it does!  Amazing!  I’m not one hundred percent over my ex-boyfriend.  But I’m well enough to function.  Thank God!

Filed under: personal, relationship Tagged: healing, heart break, romance ]]> http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/17/all-is-well/feed/ 1 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/13/the-worst/ http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/13/the-worst/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 03:15:32 +0000 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/?p=557 ]]> life sucks. hope is gone. i want to linger in self pity. wallow in low self esteem. not sure what matters. or that anything matters at all. i don’t care. not even sure if there is anything i do care for. life is just unbearable. that’s all i can say for now.

Filed under: depression, faith, personal, relationship ]]> http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/13/the-worst/feed/ 2 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/10/crying-on-the-inside/ http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/10/crying-on-the-inside/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:14:15 +0000 bleuemoon http://bleuemoon.com/?p=550 ]]> well, maybe it doesn’t really matter that i’m crying on the inside if tears are flowing down on my face as well?  i feel sadness all around me and in me.  being paged to ICU patients who are kept alive by ventilators…comforting families at the end of life with their loved ones…and well, in other news, in my personal life, i think for the last time my boyfriend and i are no longer dating.  it’s a strange phenomena actually.  i feel sad.  i feel it was the right and best decision for both of us.  we both care about each other more than we do about anyone else in this world.  i want to spend the rest of my life with him and don’t want any one else but myself to spend the rest of our lives together.  not true for my ex-boyfriend.  yes, he cares about me.  yes, he’s greatly appreciative of all the ways in which i helped him in his life.  no, he will never forget me.  yes, i will always be in his heart.  best heart-felt break up i was ever a part of.  something in me tells me that while i love him and would and could spend rest of my life with him, that it would be stupid, hurtful to myself to stay with him when he doesn’t feel the same way about me.  i love him under any condition and circumstance.  he loves me in a limited way – here and now for while things work out for both of us, but not enough to commit himself whole-heartedly to growing and working together.  i sense that i will benefit immensely from not being part of a relationship where it was impossible for there to be a future.  but the pain and sadness now is real.  with God by myself and some spirits in me, i’m good to go.

Filed under: faith, god, personal, relationship Tagged: heart break, love of my life, marriage, rejection, unrequieted love ]]> http://bleuemoon.com/2011/11/10/crying-on-the-inside/feed/ 1 bleuemoon