grace

it turns out that my professor/advisor was expecting the thesis at the end of the month.  so i didn’t miss a deadline last monday when i thought i was supposed to turn in a chapter!  so all the stress i experienced, well, i want to say that was good for me.  but it was way too much stress.  it shut me down this weekend, that’s for sure.  i can work well with moderately stressful deadlines.  but i can’t work with extremely stressful deadlines.  i don’t know where the boundaries are – someone else can figure that out i’m sure.

so that’s one big good news.

then i checked my grades just in case i got them.  and what do you know?  a grad i feel totally undeserving of, staring right at me.  wow.  i didn’t fail the class.  yes i always fear i’m going to fail the class.  and yes, i did well.  quite well actually.  and all the time i was worried that the prof thought i was incompetent or something.  man i gotta really work on my academic self image:  the academic iamge of myself now is that i’m incompetent and cant’ get things done on time and that i can’t think original thoughts, and …  i’ll spare you and stop right there.  🙂

i am so relieved to find out that my professor wasn’t about to let me get kicked out of the program.

i’m trying to wrap my head around the concept of grace.  and i can’t.  but grace covers me.  yeah.

Author: bleuemoon

PhD Student in theology, pastor, chaplain...

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