today is not a good day to die. i haven’t seen my neices and nephews yet. i haven’t said bye to all the friends who went home for thanskgiving. i’m supposed to give someone a ride back from the airport on friday night. must live until then i think. wouldn’t you agree?
i am however aware of this lovely opportunity to try beautifully… all the ingredients are there. i just have to mix them in my stomach without throwing them back up. hmmm for the longest time i would obssess about the grief and trauma that the person who first found me would feel/see/experience. i don’t worry about that now because i have no idea who is going to visit me before my sister comes back.
so then why do i keep increasing the number of pills which are supposed to help me to sleep? it’s too bad that i don’t feel like drinking alcohol. guess i’ll have to face tomorrow, then.
today is a lovely day for cleaning out all the sleeping pills that are on top of my dresser. yes. yes. can’t see them anymore. they are no longer reminding me that i could take them. i need not be tempted, because i have taken them.
i have been told that i have an amazing tolerance for drugs. i think it’s true. i seem to be able to take in huge dosages of medicine before they come into therapeutic range.
i think i’m going to sleep in tomorrow. so no one call me before noon! later in the day would be even more appreciated, of course. happy thurkey-day friends!