not-happy but not depressed either

i’m not proud of what i’ve done in the past 24-48 hours. i finished my week’s work of meds i need when i feel anxious. i drank vodka straight out of the bottle which i’ve only seen serious alcoholics do. i felt the need to drink more when i finished all the alcohol that was in the house. i vaguely remember calling up a friend i don’t talk to all the time and asking if he would donate some alcohol to our household. man, the fact is i am not even sure if i really did call him or not. it all feels like a dream.

last night, i really felt like i didn’t care about anything. when i’m feeling better i usually miss my nieces and my bf. this past weekend, i didn’t really miss anyone. i just wanted to hide in a dark room and not come out.

Author: bleuemoon

PhD Student in theology, pastor, chaplain...

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