love of my life

i nearly broke into tears last night while my bf was talking about one of his ex-girlfriends who he refers to as the love of his life. it never used to bother me before that he talked about her or that he talked about her as the love of his life. i know he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, and that it has been a while since the break-up and all. i got pangs of pain in my heart though while he talked about her last night. i wondered would he ever talk about me the way he talks about her? and not because i’m being all insecure about myself, but based on the way he talks about her and the way he interacts with me, i just don’t think i would ever be the love of his life. i don’t think he would ever say so, at least not right now even if he knew it himself. so only time will tell (me) whether he would or could ever be in love with me the way he was in love with her. some times you just get a gut feeling about things, you know? and i got a feeling in my gut/heart that i would never be the love of his life the way she was to him. no wonder i wanted to cry. he’s the love of my life.

Author: bleuemoon

PhD Student in theology, pastor, chaplain...

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