why so anxious?

i’ve been feeling so anxious! what is the matter with me? i guess i’m not sure about a lot of things in my life. lately, i feel pressured to do things i don’t want to do. that’s not a good feeling. i think things are going to have to change. i can’t curl up in bed in fetal position for the rest of the life! but that’s just what i want to do lately.

i think the fact that i’m turning forth in a couple of years is part of the reason i feel anxious. what have i accomplished in my life? my thirties flew by and it’s all a blur too because most of my thirties i was really depressed. i feel like i was robbed of my thirties! i like being in my thirties. i’m not ready to part with it yet!

in other news, i met with my primary care physician. he was really pleased. i dropped a lot in hemoglobin A1C or something like that. it’s one of the two ways diabetes is diagnosed. i was already in diabetic range for the hemoglobin A1C level in my blood. i think i’m in the lower end of pre-diabetic range now. yay!!!

guess all is not lost. 🙂

Author: bleuemoon

she/her/hers...pastor, chaplain, theologian...writing a dissertation on theology of traumatic affect...going for transparency here, but it's not easy...

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