I miss you most

I miss you most in the mornings, E

morning after morning I picked you up and half awake, half asleep drove us to church

some people came to visit, they would come and go

but some of us were regulars because we needed God and we needed each other

Even when I could not even get out of bed rest of the day, I could wake up early for morning prayer meetings

on some days you and I would meet up again to study at a coffee shop, to eat together or run errands

you are so many years younger than me and I am so many older than you

but we connected and accepted each other

we understood that being lazy didn’t mean that we didn’t want to but that we couldn’t

so many times when I needed to be with somebody you were there for me

and I was there for you when you didn’t want to be alone but didn’t want to be with anyone

because with me who knew you already, you didn’t have to fake it

you could just be, without words, without pretending or covering up how you were feeling

i think you knew what you meant to me

i hope that you knew that just as you had a sister and friend in me who would not judge,

that I had a sister and friend who would always be there when you could

and now i miss you terribly

i thank God for you

and I thank God for taking care of you now in ways you need to be taken care of

your wounded spirit can rest in trusting care of God

I will try to find peace in that

I take comfort in knowing that God knows what it is like to lose a close friend to death

Jesus wept. the shortest verse in the Bible comforts me.

As Jesus wept for Lazarus, even though he would resurrect him,

and for his sisters Mary and Martha,

I weep for you now and for your sister and family.

your cousins, they are really all heart and soul.

eternal friendship, that’s what I hope for now

Author: bleuemoon

PhD Student in theology, pastor, chaplain...

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