I played ice cream shop with my favorite toddler yesterday! Family by choice can be so comforting and loving even at times when you can’t visit your family by birth. I do miss my sister and my sister’s two daughters. But while I can’t visit my nieces, I get to visit my friends’ kids and oh yes, I get to visit my friends as well, and I just feel so loved! So glad God shows me love one way or another!!
p.s. after playing ice cream shop, my favorite toddler’s parents took us to a real ice cream shop!
24 And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24)
I have been “going to church” by watching worship services online from Willow Creek Community Church. I attend a Bible study, in person, on Fridays with a church in the city. I keep remembering a sermon preached by a Willow Creek youth pastor that a Christian must always be part of a community, which one can transform and be transformed by. I feel really torn on Sunday mornings whether to attend a local church or to attend service online.
All that to say, I feel called out by this passage this morning, to consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds. It’s hard to provoke one another to love and good deeds when neglecting to meet up with my local community church. Perhaps though limiting my view to only my local church isn’t doing justice to the vest. How do I provoke myself and others to love and good deeds? I’m not sure I have “an” answer but for sure, my loving and doing good deeds may inspire others to do the same in their lives. So here we go, will try to live out a day of loving and doing good deeds.
it’s a cliche. a woman gives all of herself to friends, family, and even to strangers, with none left to give to herself. no one, not even her sister, boyfriend or many close friends even know what’s going on because they weren’t available. I am that woman who is alone, disconnected, feeling lonely even while in the presence of others. funny others don’t get it. did she reach out at all? surely if she had reached out the family and friends, core group of support would have made their best effort to be there for her. so what, now the burden falls on the woman feeling alienated that she didn’t cry out in the way others would respond? but she did. she texted, she left messages, sent out emails. everyone has a lot going on their lives. absolutely true. but I was there when others needed me. where are others now that I need them?
after a month of silence, I spoke to my significant other finally. he said a month of silence doesn’t mean he wanted to break up with me. I am baffled and relieved at the same time. DTR, aka defining the relationship is to be continued next week. I never understood how some couples stay together. I’m beginning to understand where hearts of two people are involved, two hearts connected or tangled up on love, nothing is simple. logic or common sense doesn’t apply as one might expect. people have different issues and when two people with life time worth of issues, shaped by upbringing, family, cultural, religious beliefs and practices, you can’t assume you know until you confirm with your other half. only by the grace of God is it possible to protect oneself and each other. where hearts are involved, risk of getting heart broken is real and near. strange thing about love is, it makes me overcome my fears about getting heart broken. if I was so sure after a month of silence that only possible explanation was that the relationship was over, I wonder, how much I have grieved God due to my silence when God was waiting for me.
when everything in life loses it’s focus and things become blurry and bleak, look to nature. seriously, God made heavens and the earth. he created me. he didn’t do it out of boredom, did he? just because I feel lost doesn’t mean God doesn’t know where I am. I will try to take comfort in that today.
what i have rather than what i don’t have is what i have to appreciate. presently, i am making most of my solitude, singleness and freedom. indulging my wishes, desires and impulses can’t be sustained, i know. for now, however, i am living and moving onwards and upwards to wherever God leads me. of course i wish i knew where i was headed what i will have and what i won’t get to have. i don’t want to be disappointed. but fear won’t hold me back either. still, i am scared to be alone. then i remember, while i feel alone, i’m not really alone in this world. yes, my significant other and i are walking separate ways, but my true love hasn’t and won’t leave me.