No one wants to listen to someone expressing self-pity.  I was told yesterday, stop this self-pity.  That’s probably what promoted me to come to my blog site this  morning.  I have thoughts, feelings, and want to express them.  No one wants to hear them, no one I can think of.  But maybe there are some people who don’t mind hearing self-pity because they understand that it’s natural sometimes to feel self-pity and that it’s not necessarily a permanent disposition!  I feel enormous expectations, stress, and fear of failure and self doubt.  Sometimes I feel confident, but sometimes I feel bankrupt of any confidence.

I am a person of faith.  And yes, my faith makes a difference in my life.  But you know, when I’m drowning and feel overwhelmed with emotions that are threatening to consume my sanity, it’s hard to turn to God.  But it is precisely in these moments that God, if ever, could help me.  So many oxymorons in life.  In the moments when I need God, are exactly moments when I feel I can’t turn to God or forget that I have a God who cares about me!

So I write for myself, on this blog, hoping someone would read these words, but also that as I write them that I would hear the sound of my voice crying in the wilderness, and that hearing my words, would remind me of who I am.  Even when I feel utterly alone, yes, remember who I am.  That I am a child of God!!!


go public?

This blog has been an anonymous blog…  My earlier posts have been about depression.  Those blogs are very raw and real.  Since then I have written about my personal life and professional life.  Is it time to take this blog public, as in tell people that this is my blog?  Any thoughts?  Pros and Cons of going public with a private blog???

illness breeds insight

I was sick over the weekend, as in bed for three days.  I feel like I am re-emerging into life.  Ever feel like you are at a crossroad?  I don’t know that’s what my life feels like lately.

I know in my heart what my heart desires.  But practically, I don’t know how to get there!