three surgeries

Three of my friends are going to have surgeries in the next month.  Two of them are my age and it’s quite sobering.  Have we really gotten old enough that health is no longer something we can take for granted?  I provide care to sick people all the time.  It’s my job, my vocation, my calling.  Lately, I have had to care for my friends as well.  I’m grateful to be the one providing support rather than needing the support.  I am grateful I can be helpful to those who are in need.  I wish my friends weren’t sick.  I wish God would heal them completely.  I hope they wake up from surgery and recover without complications.  One of my friend has a brain tumor.  I’m saddened, deeply.  Why?  God, why?  There are no answers, at least none that I can discern.  But I know this.  God is with us.  In sickness and in health, just as newly weds vow to each other, God is with us in sickness and in health.

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god is good. oh yeah.

my friend’s father got out of surgery.  the surgery seemed to last forever!  i was waiting to hear from my friend and was so relieved and happy to hear that the surgery went well!  thank you God!

i was feeling miserable because of the news of my friend’s parents both needing surgery, another friend’s family member passing away, and another friend feeling really emotionally rocky right now.

i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off!

another good news is that a friend who is a mom of two ran the boston marathon and finished it!  she ran for four and a half hours.  can you imagine running for that long?  wow.  i’m so happy for her.

yes, like sucks sometimes.  but then there are times when you just want to thank god and feel happy for yourself or for others.  🙂

life sucks – sometimes

i just found out that a friend’s mom AND dad are going to get surgery in the next month or so.  could things get worse than that?  i don’t want to find out.  but things couldn’t get much worse, could it?  i spent the past twenty four hours or so with her until she could fly home.  i didn’t know what to do, what to say, and if i could even hope to be helpful.  all that i could do was to just be with her.

another update on my friend

it turns out that my friend’s doctor didn’t communicate to her what was going on exactly.  the high level of cell count in the blood was due to her medicine and not suspected to be abnormal cell growth!  for the past month my friend thought that her illness was coming back.  how irresponsible of the doctor not to tell my friend that she just needed her medicine adjusted!!!  in any case i’m really happy to hear that everything is okay.

update on my friend

my friend thought she had to take meds for a week and get blood work to see if there are abnormal cell growth.  but she realized the other day that she is supposed to take meds for 6 weeks then get blood work done.  she seems quite at peace and not really scared.  i think i am more scared for her than she is about herself.  the blood test at the end of 6 weeks may just be one of the many tests to come.  or not.  she’s probably wise not to worry too much right now.  they have already done a test and then told her she needs this additional test.  so in my mind this next blood test is rather important.

crisis mode can only hold up for so long. and i’m trying to be supportive and understanding one day at a time.  even though my friend says she’s not worried, i can see that she is making choices about how she spends her time more carefully.  i would do the same.  but shouldn’t we all do that all the time?  none of us know how long we are going to live for sure.  so we should do things that matter to us now, not put them off thinking that we can get to them later.  who knows?  maybe later won’t come.  all that to say, we should live, really live in the moment.  🙂

strangely

for a long time, i felt distant from god and couldn’t pray as i had before. and then when a friend told me last week about her health condition (that she may find out in a week whether she has a limited time to live), i started praying for her and am finding that i feel different when i pray.  in desperation i prayed as i felt the urgency of the need for god. i mean, i had been praying before but maybe without the sense of urgency, like if things were a matter of life and death. and these days at morning prayer, we really do pray for the life or death of our friend. and something in me has changed. of course i can’t heal my friend. i’m not even sure how much the doctors could do even if they discover that she needs treatment. whether for good or bad, i feel a sense of peace. no doubt, last week when i heard the news i was really disturbed. but now i feel that we are all going to be fine.

breakfast conversation

i found out this morning that a friend might be really sick. she won’t find out until additional testing for sure. i feel scared for her. she mentioned that she needs more testing in passing, like pass the salt kind of way. so i didn’t really respond empathetically in reflection to how she seemed to be dealing with it. but all i could think about on my drive home is that what she told me was really serious. i still feel affected by the news. probably the best way to described how i feel is that i feel shaken up.

none of us know much time we have in our lives. but when you know with some kind of certainty what your limited time is, it totally changes your perspective about your decisions in how you live your life. i guess my friend’s news makes me reflect on my own life as well. it’s a big wake up call.