ACELA – money money money

i rode not regional north west train from nyc to boston this morning, but ACELA the more expensive all business or first class express train from ny penn station to boston south station. boy, talk about money money money. what about money? well, for paying double the price of what you might pay for regular speed ticket two weeks in advance, you get much cleaner, even seems brighter, and nicer environment. each seat reclines further back, seemed like more leg room, and faster, smoother train ride. if i didn’t have other places to spend money, i’d rather ride ACELA on any given day, than the normal north east regional train.

i have to ride the “regular” train back. while i’m saving about 45 dollars in about 4-5 hours, well, that’s just it, isn’t it? in the past month and a half, north east regional has come in late to penn station. instead of its usual arrival time, i mean, come on, no rush hour traffic jam on the train tracks, right? so for reasons i can’t figure out, north east regional trains have run late of about an hour or so. this means instead of getting back to my home in time to watch the clock pass midnight, after i have taken a shower, rested, and whatever else, i am just getting off train from penn station to home around mid night.

you know, there is a song called around midnight. i never really listened to the lyrics. but if the song writer were to write about my around midnight experience coming home from train station about an hour after i was supposed to arrive home because the train i was on ate up an hour of my time for no good reason, the song would not be a happy one i tell you! around midnight can be a happy song if you are enjoying your time off, if you own the time you have.

if you are rushing home to try to make it back home by midnight so you can try to get enough sleep for the next morning train back to the city (yes i have thought about just camping out in penn station on nights i end up returning to the same station in less than 8 or 9 hours!) showering becomes a great sacrifice to make – i mean if you take a shower it’s at the cost of less sleep, and if you don’t take a shower after such a long day of traveling, then it’s at the cost of feeling yucky. so anyway, yes! travel ACELA if your wallet allows you to. because ACELA makes your commute from nyc to boston so much more pleasant, bearable, and something one might even look forward to. well, one might look forward to it, except on the night world series starts for baseball. 😦

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looking for DBT in nyc

i started searching for a new DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) groups in the area. queens/long island groups were not working out, either full or don’t take insurance. so i started looking up groups in the city. it’s great that columbia and cornell have their medical schools here.

it’s strange. i would think there would be more availability of groups and therapists and all in the ny area than in boston area. after all, isn’t this woody allen’s city of many clients who want therapy and too few therapists?

surprisingly harvard has more affiliation with schools all around boston area more than columbia and cornell have in ny area it seems like. i didn’t know how good i had it when i was in the boston area. still, i am glad there’s at least columbia and cornell affliated hospitals and programs in reasonable closeness to where i live.

finally finally – some big questions

sometime in august my sister and i are relocating to ny. it’s happening so fast neither of us are able to catch up with all the changes. yesterday, my therapist asked me how i feel about the move and i started crying. i had kept myself busy with trying to figure out the move and logistics of it all. i wasn’t really paying attention to how i felt about leaving a place i feel at home. i have lived in boston for the past ten years, in the same apartment no less. i have never lived in one town for that long. i lived in seoul for the first 13 years of my life. but we moved around practically every year until i was about 10 yrs old?

so the big question of course is why are we moving? my sister hates boston. she’s been having a difficult time finding a job. as for myself, i don’t want to and am not capable at this point of living by myself. and my bf of about 6 months (give or take a few weeks) is also in ny. it makes it easier to leave boston at this point in my life because i just finished a degree program. and just in the past year my close friends have moved away from boston or gotten married and seem like they moved away. so as for leaving friends in boston, i don’t feel desperate separation anxiety or anything.

most people when they move to new york do so for a personal reason, like for a job, for a significant other, school, etc. most of the time, people want to live in ny. i used to want to live in manhattan. but now, i think manhattan is way to crowded and way too busy. we’ll be living in one of the boroughs and i may not even go into the city thqt often. i don’t think i would have a reason to go into the city unless i went to a church in the city or started taking classes at one of the schools or something.

i started saying that i’m practically 40 years old. and with that awareness, that in a few years that i really will turn forty, i wonder about where i’ve been, where i’m going and where i’ll be. i know i like my life now. i am happy with what i am doing or will be doing. as for what i will be in the next couple years, i have no clue.

moving after ten years?

my sister, my bf and i have been organizing our current apartment. the goal is to get ready for packing. it happened so fast it seems unreal. my sister and i might move down to nyc area! is that so crazy or what? i mean, i have been in the boston area for past decade, in the same apartment. the transition is going to be unreal. but i think at the moment, moving might be in the best interest for everyone, including me, especially for recovering from depression i would say.

i ran into the store manager who interviewed me for apple retail store in boston area. she remembered my name! good sign i thought. so i might apply for jobs in the nyc area too. so maybe i’ll get to spend all my money that i earn at the store i earned it at after all!!!

oh of course, my therapist says the move is going to be very stressful and not recommended for my recovery from depression. 😛