I quit! I quit smoking. ok. it’s been only couple of days. do you know how many cigarettes I didn’t smoke in the past couple days? not smoking means better health and saving money! so what’s the secret? having great friends around you who care about you. it helps to be reminded too that i can choose Jesus instead of cancer sticks! 😉
instead of waiting until end of november to quit smoking, i decided to start with thanksgiving day. armed this time with patches, nicotine gum, regular gum, gummy bears… i had an anxiety filled day yesterday morning, making all kinds of undesirable decisions which ended up really irritating someone i really care about. i’m so grateful that after calming down a bit he and i were able to talk through things. haha. it’s good to know good communication skills can be learned. as for quitting smoking, i have the support of smoking cessation industry, friends prayers, friends confidence and determination that cannot be deterred to quit smoking this time for real!
come december 1st, i will forever be a non-smoker. well, no, i will forever be a smoker. but starting in december, i will be a non-smoking smoker. everyday, for the rest of my life, i will have to make the decision not to woke. it’s quite a daunting thought. can it be done? can i do it? hell, no. i can’t do it. but i can do all things through him who strengthens me. so bring it on. let december come. let the non-smoking part of my life begin!
the hardest thing about quitting smoking is wanting to be healthy more than wanting to smoke. i don’t think i’ll ever get to the point of wanting to stop smoking. but i can believe that in the near future, i’ll want to be healthy and that desire surpassing my desire to keep smoking. diets never worked for me because whenever i tried to do a diet, i end up gaining weight. when i think of quitting smoking as an end in itself, i want to smoke more. i’ve been smoking more in the past 48 hrs as a result of a decision to not smoke over the weekend. i’m failing miserably at going just for the weekend without smoking. about a month ago, i went a month without smoking and during that time, i didn’t even have urges i was fighting against. so yeah, i guess the hardest thing about quitting smoking is wanting something else more than wanting to smoke. that something else is not happening just yet…
i’m determined to do the following during the year of 2008!!!
1. lose about 60 pounds/30 kgs. i gained a lot of weight since my last depression episode. i know that at least one of my medicines are facilitating weight gain. i’ve been exercising three time a week for the past six months. i’m going to try to go to the gym 4 time a week during the new year.
2. by the end of january i want to quit smoking for good. i don’t know if i can. but i’m sure going to try.
3. i want to finish my program in theology by the end of spring semester. i think i want to write a thesis on nothingness in order to fulfill graduation requirements.
4. i want to come off of effexor completely.
5. there shall be no 10th hospital visit!
that’s all for now. 🙂